My birthday is on Thursday. I'll be 26. I'm not sure if I feel old or young at this point. I feel as though I'm often told how I'm a child or a baby at work...or at least it's implied. I'm not entirely sure why. Am I too idealistic in thinking I want a purpose in what I do? Is it wrong to want things to have meaning? There are days when I wonder if things would be different if I worked with people less jaded. I wonder if there could be any change if there were a collective level of idealism instead of the pessimism I feel comes out from my coworkers sometimes. They're probably right in the end that it's not going to pan out and we aren't going to find a use for the information we're collecting. Sometimes I want to hold onto hope, though. It's probably naive, I know. I wonder if I'm even seen as immature for my age. Maybe I'm weirdly underdeveloped from a lack of social contact and experiences. I don't know when I'll ever feel mature. I think that if I continue to just have random experiences, it might not come exactly. I don't know where to pick out the patterns in my life quite yet. I know some are there, but I don't know where to focus. Where is the main theme?
Reaching out from the void
3 years ago
1 comment:
I feel really young and immature too. For two reasons, I guess: (1) most the other people I work with are older than me and they generally are more educated and they've lived in a wider variety of places while I'm sort of a country mouse and haven't got out a whole lot; and (2) I look young. No matter what I do at my job, I'll look like a student for the next 10 years or more. I just hope that I pass for a grad student and not an undergrad.
I have no idea how you go about becoming more mature. I don't know whether you will do a better job picking out patterns of being random. But let me know if you find out!
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