Friday, July 20, 2007

"We must be the change we want to see in the world"

I've been thinking about college and about Chadbourne in particular lately. Seeing all the former Chadbornians at my wedding reminded me of what great people lived in that building. To me, it doesn't seem that such a large number of ethical, concerned individuals would have come out of other random college dorms. Do you think that people wind up gravitating towards other people with similar mindsets?

When Cory was looking at dorms, I suggested that he consider Chadbourne as his top choice. He wasn't interested in it at all. He's going to live in Kronshage. It'll actually probably work out well for him. I can imagine him out there on the lakeshore, running around with a bunch of equally sporty guys, kicking around a soccer ball or something. I suppose he fits there better than in a dorm with Star Trek interest groups and Forum meetings. (Ha! I also just made myself think about the intra-mural soccer team I was on with some Chadbournians..."Catastrophic Failure". We changed our name to that from "Bucky's Finest" because our team was gawky, non-athletic, and lost our first game 14-0...classic.)

Oh, Chadbourne. Do you other Chadbourne people agree with me that there was probably a higher percentage of "geeks" in our dorm? In retrospect, I think it was a little more likely that people in Chadbourne were a bit socially awkward. Myself included.

Wow, looking back on college is kind of like watching a "Revenge of the Nerds" movie in my head...haha, just kidding...

The subject of children has come up several times lately. I guess it's one of those things people talk to you about when you get married. I guess everyone figures it's like that song: "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage." Lelani asked me a few times while I was home when I was thinking about having kids. When I went to pick up my marriage certificate, they included a little pamphlet on prenatal health in the packet of stuff they gave me. I thought that was amusing.

Anyway, I'm not thinking about having kids any time very soon. Jake and I both agree that we'll probably take at least a couple years to enjoy ourselves for a while before having kids. Another thing I'm really considering is having a social network set up that I feel will support us when we have a family (I'm not sure I'd have enough of one to have a kid right now while in DC). I remember looking at the research while I was in grad school and thinking to myself about this. I remember being struck by the idea that children who grow up with parents who say they feel that they have social support wind up being generally more stable and secure. That's what I want when I have kids. I want to know that I have people I can call up and help out. I want to know that there will be people willing to babysit...that there will be people willing to listen to my problems...that there will people there just to hang out with and laugh with now and again, etc...I definitely think that's key in handling the stresses of parenthood and with raising well-balanced children.

This all relates back to what college life was like. I read something recently that said living in close company with others is actually what we're ideally suited for evolutionarily and that this is why many people remember their college years as "the best years of their life". Yes, Emily, Sarah, Laura, Liz, and Brighton...I'd do it all over again. Nevermind the spats about which way the tines of the forks should go in the was all worth it to have you all around all the time. I learned new things, tried new things I wouldn't have on my own, laughed a lot, and always felt that there was someone at home to spend time with if I didn't want to lock myself away in my room and study. I'm glad also that we have blogs, etc. to keep in touch because I really don't want to lose any of you. I'm serious. Call me anytime.

I'm not sure how to end this and I'm kind of I'll just stop.


Emily said...

Wasn't Chadbourne nicknamed "the gay and confused nerd dorm"? Meaning, if you lived there you fit into 1 of the 3 categories (or more).

I DEFINITELY think people gravitate towards those with similar interests/mindsets. Certain circumstances can bring very different people together (being FORCED to live with Sarah...for instance). :)

While in college I didn't think it was anything especially special. I kept recalling the ol' "best years of your life" axiom and wondered what I was missing. However, now that it's over I truly miss it. A lot. Thus far it has been the best time(s) of my life. I miss people. I have no friends around me right now, and that makes me really sad. My life is sad right now. Ugh. Please get better, soon!!!

I just laughed internally for a very long time recalling the fork tines in the dishwasher. We just got a new dishwasher and I read about how silverware should be put in. So read up for the true answer:

Knives should always be put in blade down. The rest should be mixed up--some up, some down, etc. This is to prevent spooning of the silverware and increases the effectiveness of the wash.


Emily said...

Doesn't it seem that the washing machine silverware instructions could be some sort of analogy for life?

Emily said...

DISHWASHER. Not washing machine. Pardon me.

Sarah said...


I just love you and all of my Chadbourne friends. Nerds we all are. I mean, Emily and I had an Anne of Green Gables interest group. Remember 40 year old Grant? I think he turns 47 this summer!! Happy Birthday!

By the way, haven't you already done number 4 on your list? I recall writing a song with you in the 11th floor den one morning. Something about wishing someone was someone's lover????

Candy said...

Emily, the thing about the dishwasher instructions is just awesome...

Sarah, I've done a number of the things on my list previously...canoeing, camping, beating Jake at pool, throwing a dinner party...they are just things that I want to make sure I do again in the next couple years!