The Top Ten Things to Consider When Having a Wedding.

1. Think about getting a wedding planner.

I originally thought this was probably a waste of money. However, on the day of the wedding, I really felt that I wanted someone else to be there to field everyone's questions and concerns. I wanted someone else to be in charge so I could just enjoy myself and not have a million worries. People kept asking, "What's happening with ...?" "When are we doing...?" "Are we going to...?" Most of the time my answer was, "I don't know..."

Maria, I want to take this opportunity to tell you that I love you. You stepped it up at the end of the night. Way to get on the people at the Union so that we could get a cart for our gifts and way to tell that boy working there exactly how to wrap up that leftover cake. You rock. I was so tired of flagging down people to explain things and straighten things out at that point...you are a savior. Okay, maybe you don't need a wedding planner per se, but you need to have a go-to person that isn't you...

2. Skip having anything religious, if possible.

Really, if you can get the vows down to: "Do you?" "Yes" "Do you?" "Yes", it would be ideal. I didn't need all this junk about how I needed to submit to Jake like the church submits to Christ or whatever. Also, I feel that religion is a major factor causing hatred and divisiveness in the world. It's definitely the reason certain people did not show up to our wedding ceremony. Yes, I said people...although I know everyone is probably thinking of a certain person in our wedding party...

I wonder how it would have worked out if I would have just gone with a justice of the peace. I think my mom would have eventually dealt with it. Oh well...too late now.

On a somewhat related sidenote: I was digging around in some boxes while I was at home in Princeton and I found this workbook from a class I took in 7th or 8th grade while at the Lutheran school called "Faith Shakers". I decided that I had to take it back to Virginia with me because it is just far too amusing...the book gives a little history and some idea of the teaching of various "cults" and then suggests Bible passages to look up in order to refute their teachings. It also includes a checklist of "Telltale Signs" that a religion is a cult. I think it's hilarious that the only "Telltale Sign" that Humanism (basically a belief in science...what I'd consider myself to follow right now...) is a cult is that it "Claims a written authority besides the Bible." Hahaha. Another favorite part of the book for me is a little list of points to keep in mind when responding to members of "cults". A key point is: "Don't argue. Logic will never work in explaining a faith." Yup... just hold onto your illogical beliefs and be proud in deluding yourself that you're "right".

3. Don't register for a punch bowl.

While we were registering for stuff, a punch bowl sounded like such a fun thing. Like, "Yeah...we could have a party with punch! It'll be fun!" We opened it in front of our parents and my mom was like, "The punch bowl that I have always gets in the way and I never know what to do with it." Now that we have the punch bowl at home, I can see what she means. There really isn't a compact and practical place for us to store it in our apartment...and I have a feeling it's not going to get a lot of use. Currently, it's on top of a shelving unit we put into the kitchen and all of our bottles of alcohol are stacked on top of it. The alcohol nearly touches the ceiling. Now I definitely have to get something to stand on if I'm going to pour myself a drink. Sorry, Jake's high school friends who bought us the punch bowl...it is just a large, impractical thing.

4. Tell your friends to clearly identify which cards and gifts are from them.

A lot of cards and stuff got shuffled around and some bagged gifts were dumped together when people helped us load the gifts from the Union and transport them to the hotel room. I'm still working out a bit of confusion over this. Elizabeth Baker, you are a genius. Good job attaching a swatch of the wrapping paper you used on the vacuum to the front of the envelope for your card. I'm totally using this idea the next time I go to a wedding.

5. Tip people off to let them know what stuff on your registry you actually want.

I caught wind that my brother was thinking about buying Jake and me more kitchen stuff. I knew that we already had a lot of kitchen stuff coming already and that it was going to be a tight squeeze in our cupboards, so I told Cory camping stuff would be more ideal. So, Cory was the only person to get us camping stuff. Good job, Cory. I really did want a tent and that picnic set you got us.

6. Invite all your random fun friends.

Matt T kept that dance floor hopping all night long. Matt VL brought along fake mustaches. It's stuff like that that makes a wedding actually fun.

7. Serve alcohol.

Oh, alcohol. The magic it can work on a crowd and the memories it can create. My brother got up and danced with Matt T, which I don't think I could have paid him to do sober. Jake's brother went over and drunkenly asked his mom, "Is Cory, like, Candy's sister?" Yup, the things alcohol can make people say and do...

8. Get someone you like and get along with to take photographs.

This is a person that will be pulling you aside all day long and you will have to spend a considerable amount of time with. Don't bother with someone who tells corny jokes and with whom you have next to nothing in common with... I was so relieved when the photographer told me he was leaving for the evening. I felt freed in a way. I think we will end up with some nice pictures, but I sort of wish that the person taking the pictures was someone I felt was on the same wavelength as me...

9. Remember you have on a huge, crazy dress.

I temporarily forgot that I was wearing something that would make me look out of place when I suggested that we go find a seat on the Terrace and wait for our photographer to meet up with us. We walked in front of everyone out there and a got a round of applause from a few hundred people. Wow, I wasn't prepared in my head for that to happen... So, you have to be prepared to be a celebrity for a day. It can be a bit of an ego boost. You have people randomly coming up to you wanting to have their picture taken with you. You have things happen like a crowd of random drunk girls yelling at you, "Woo! You are a sexy, sexy bride! We love you!"

10. Skip the huge, crazy dress if possible.

It's a pain. It's hot. It's itchy. It's uncomfortable. It's an invitation for all sorts of people to come up and touch you all day long. The bustle on my dress kept falling and people came to drag me off the dance floor a couple of times. I ripped that dress off my body before Jake could come back into our hotel room after saying goodbye to his parents in the parking lot and thanking them for helping us get the gifts to the hotel...I just could not stand to be in that thing any longer.