Friday, June 09, 2006

Becoming Happy

Do we all have our own happiness "set point"? I read that only 25% of people report drastic fluctuations in life satisfaction and that change is generally for the worse. Still, I am hopeful that I can become happy. I really do feel that I'm at a place right now where I am unhappier than I usually am. I have a feeling that I'm ending this chapter of my life for which I won't ever really feel nostalgia. Well, maybe I will miss some of the stuff I got to do with Lelani or other friends here and there or I will look back on visiting Jake, but I mean the stuff that goes on in grad school... I'm not going to miss that. I think I am glad to be moving out of Eau Claire. I was sad to leave Madison...and I did have a place in my heart for Princeton when I left it (although I don't think I could ever move back at this point- maybe I could have after freshman year of college...), but Eau Claire hasn't given me much to really, really miss.

I watched the movie Palindromes last night. It's written by Todd Solondz, the same guy who wrote Welcome to the Dollhouse. Palindromes is much darker than Welcome to the Dollhouse was, I think. I sometimes wasn't sure if I should be laughing or not watching the movie. Anyway, the movie retains some of the characters of Welcome to the Dollhouse, like Mark Wiener. He had an interesting quote in the movie: "People always end up the way they started out. No one ever changes. They think they do but they don't. If you're the depressed type now that's the way you'll always be. If you're the mindless happy type now, that's the way you'll be when you grow up. You might lose some weight, your face may clear up, get a body tan, breast enlargement, a sex change, it makes no difference. Essentially, from in front, from behind. Whether you're 13 or 50, you will always be the same." Well, I don't know if that's true or not, I just found the quote to be apropos.

I have to believe that I can become happier. I'm working on finding ways to get myself in a better mood. There have been studies that show that exercise works as well as taking an antidepressant, so I figured that it is worth a shot. My goal is to get 30 minutes of aerobic exercise a day at least 3-5 days out of the week. I've been able to do it for the past two weeks. I do notice that I do generally feel better on the days that I work out. The only time I've gotten really, really down in the past two weeks was on a day that I hadn't worked out (but that could have been situational, too...). It's easy for me to get exercise right now, as I'm not in school and don't have a job. I think it'll be a little bit more tricky once I get busier down the line. I'm going to try to enlist Jake to help me stick to it after I move. I also need to make sure that I come up with a variety of activities to do so that I don't get bored and give it up.

I'm going to try to make myself become more confident. Hell, I can make myself do it! I think just building in some specific goals that I know I can attain will make things better, too. If I can at least have some personal success in some areas of my life, maybe it will boost my confidence or at least make me less hung up on other areas of my life.

2 comments:

Jake said...

I would think that most people look back on their undergrad days, as opposed to grad school days with nostalgia. I mean, it's supposed to be the best time of your life, and then it's all down hill from there, as my uncle Jay jokingly told me once.

My workout schedule has actually been fairly diverse as of lately. I usually play basketball on Mondays, run one or two other times a week, and lift weights another day. I am also going to try to bike to work more often since it takes just as long as hoping on the train (30 minutes).

Sarah said...

Know what makes me happy? Eating plates and plates of meat...and drinking glasses and glasses of wine.

Seriously, though, I had a great time with you and the (Sugar Hill) Gang today. Apache out.