Welcome to Candyland: I'm losing it and making myself crazy

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I'm losing it and making myself crazy

I am afraid of being abandoned.

It's happened to me in the past.

I'm paranoid that people are giving up on me.

People giving up on me makes me want to give up on myself. I'm trying hard to not give up on myself.

Wallow. Wallow. Wallow. Wallow.

1 comment:

ilaiy said...: Belive in yourself ..Think abt the wonderful things which happened to you over the past few years .. That usually motivates me when I feel down ..

Sing a song ..

./thanks
ilaiy; 12:16 PM

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Things to Do Before July 14, 2009

1. Volunteer to do a clean up activity with an environmental group (at a park, nature trail, beach, etc. (2/23/08) Clean-up with Arlingtonians for a Clean Environment
2. Go scuba diving (11/25/08) Discover Scuba dives with Summer Salt in Playas del Coco, Costa Rica
3. Go camping and build a campfire (07/21/2007) Mathews Arm Campground, Skyline Drive, Shenandoah National Park
4. Write a song
5. Go canoeing Went river tubing (08/16/08)
6. Visit either Mexico or the Caribbean
7. Go to the eye doctor (4/22/08) and see if I can get Lasik surgery on my left eye
8. Bake a pie (11/19/2007) Baked one pumpkin pie and one sweet potato pie
9. Organize the files on my computer better and make sure important files are backed-up on Jake’s external hard drive (2/22/08) Jake finishes backing up files for me and clears off my hard drive.
10. Donate my hair to Locks of Love (9/24/07)- Donated to Pantene's Beautiful Lengths instead
11. Get another job (11/26/07) Started new job at Pal-tech.
12. Beat Jake playing pool (7/11/07)This took 10 games...I finally beat him because he accidentally knocked the 8-ball in the pocket.
13. Take a skiing class (1/19/08)
14. Learn to tell five more good jokes ( Leper Hockey)
15. Go on my honeymoon (November 2008- trip to Costa Rica)
16. Sing karaoke in a bar in the DC Metro area (February 2009- Flying Fish restaurant, Christine's Bachelorette party)
17. Gain the upper body strength to do a pull-up
18. Stop being overweight and stay that way
19. Hike the trail to the biggest waterfall in Shenandoah (07/21/2007) It was dry out and didn't really get to see much of anything, but I got out to the point where it is...and heard it dribbling...
20. Make a homemade pizza (9/24/07)
21. Get a pet dog (3/28/09) Adopted Lainey through HART.
22. Buy a house, townhouse, or condo (10/17/08)- Settlement date on our house near Bailey's Crossroads
23. Read at least an average of a book a month (only entire books count). 1. Ishmael by Daniel Quinn (6/26/07) 2. The Food Revolution by John Robbins (7/26/07)3. God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything by Christopher Hitchens (8/11/07) 4. The Gospel of Food: Everything You Think You Know About Food is Wrong by Barry Glassner (8/19/07) 5. The Assault on Reason by Al Gore (8/23/2007) 6. Deer Hunting with Jesus: Dispatches from America's Class War by Joe Bageant (9/02/07) 7. A Man Without a Country by Kurt Vonnegut (9/18/07) 8 . The Wishbones by Tom Perrotta (11/07/07)9. The Paradox of Choice: Why Less is More by Barry Schwartz (12/16/2007) 10. What to Eat by Marion Nestle (12/31/07) 11. Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris (1/6/08) 12. The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life you Want by Sonja Lyubomirsky 13. In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan (1/28/08) 14. Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely (3/30/08) 15. Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer(6/2/08) 16. The Lost Continent by Bill Bryson (6/17/08) 17. Wikinomics: How mass collaboration changes everything by Don Tapscott and Anthony D. Williams (7/7/08) 18. Change or Die by Alan Deutschman (7/16/08) 19. The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner (07/27/08)20. When you are engulfed in flames by David Sedaris (08/16/08) 21. Sway by Rom and Ori Brafman (9/18/08) 22. Nudge by Richard Thaler & Cass Sunstein (9/29/08) 23. The Political Brain: The Role of Emotion in Deciding the Fate of the Nation by Drew Westen (11/3/08) 24. The Third Chimpanzee by Jarod Diamond (11/29/08)25. The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls (1/30/09)26. The Drunkard's Walk: How Randomness Rules Our Lives by Leonard Mlodinow (2/23/09) 27. One Nation Under Dog by Michael Schaffer (4/17/09) 28. Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell (4/28/09) 29. The Life You Can Save by Peter Singer (6/6/09) 30. Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner (06/27/09)
24. See at least 5 new states I haven’t visited before 1. Vermont (November 2007) 2. Nevada (June 2008) 3. North Carolina (August 2008) 4. Tennessee (July 2009)
25. Throw a dinner party
26. See another concert at the Birchmere (08/31/07)- Jonathan Colton and Paul & Storm
27. Go hiking in Great Falls (10/08/07)
28. Get a professional massage (11/28/08) Swedish massage at Tabacon Hot Springs Spa in Costa Rica
29. See a show at the Kennedy Center (1/5/08) Jenny Owen Youngs- free concert on the Millennium Stage
30. Blog at least once a month
31. Take a photography class Class at Torpedo Factory 9/18/07- 11/14/07
32. Visit Monticello (1/20/08)
33. Write either my Congressman or Senator at least 3 times about issues I care about (using my own words, not form emails)
34. Write a letter to the editor of a newspaper or magazine
35. Go to another continent besides North America
36. Only buy fair trade coffee for the coffeemaker at home
37. Do not eat at McDonalds, Burger King, KFC, or Taco Bell
38. Buy a comfortable couch (10/19/08)
39. Make Jake go to see a musical with me
40. Trace Jake’s and my ancestry at least back to Europe on each side to have a family tree for our children
41. Eat vegan for a week (8/5/07- 8/12/07)
42. Continue to watch my blood pressure (5/3/08- bought a home blood pressure montior) and keep it down.
43. Go through my cupboards and closets and donate everything I don’t use to charity (7/27/07)
44. Check out the National Arboretum (9/23/07)
45. Write a friendly letter to someone I’ve never met in person and mail it (6/27/07)
46. Enter a contest
47. Go to a book signing and get a signed copy of a book
48. Have at least one good conversation that goes until the wee hours of the morning (4/11/2008)
49. Write at least 3 recipes of my own creation 1. Smoked Tomato Pasta (6/8/08) 2. Breakfast potatoes Featured Here (Dec .08)
50. Print off and post this list somewhere so I see it nearly everyday and can check off items by hand. (06/22/07)

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Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I'm losing it and making myself crazy

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