Sunday, February 05, 2006

Making adjustments

What's a normal amount of time it takes to get used to a living situation? I'm used to Eau Claire now, but I don't know if I'd say I've completely "adjusted" to it. I think I came here with the attitude that I'd be leaving in two years anyway. It partly feels like there's not much point to settling in too much. So maybe I haven't allowed myself to adjust. Maybe that's why I'm not really friends with anyone here. Maybe I've put up walls by being so eager to get the heck out of Eau Claire.

I leech myself onto group activities sometimes, but I don't have anyone that I call up or make plans with ever. It's sad, really. I really do want to have friends. I think the idea of having friends from all parts of my life is really appealing. If I'm not close with anyone here, who will I have to look back on these times with? The people in my program really do understand the stresses of what I'm going through right now. It's just hard to actually hang out with any of them because so many of them leave on the weekends or are married or have kids or something.

I think sometimes when I'm totally uprooted, it takes me two or three years to feel completely comfortable being where I am. Adjustments are hard for me. I wonder how it will be moving out to DC. At least I'll have Jake out there, so it won't be like starting from scratch. Somehow, I don't think that it'll be as hard as when I started high school, or when I moved to Madison, or when I moved here. It was easier to move to Eau Claire than to move to Madison, but I feel like adjusting to Madison paid off so much more for me. I guess I didn't know anyone in either place. I know some people out in DC. I'm pretty excited to move there because I think that it'll be more likely that I'll have people to hang out with. Hey, as long as Jake comes home after work, I'll at least have him to hang out with, which is 100 times better than my current situation of spending days at a time without human contact.


guammy_bear said...

I think grad school is like that. People aren't really there to make friends and connections. You're supposed to be asocial. Or so I've concluded based on what you've described and what they always told us about the Bryn Mawr grad students.

On the bright side, it's almost over!

Jake said...

I have heard the same thing about Engineering students at Wisconsin. A couple of them that I had classes with would just come to Engineering Hall and stay there for 12 hours a day. Eat and go to classes in between doing research. Crazy.

Sarah said...

Wow, I haven't even moved away from Madison and I'm almost scares me to death of going someplace where I don't know anyone. At least you have the guts and the drive to try someplace new for the sake of furthering your education and all that shit. You could aways do what I do when I'm lonely and in the depths of Anne of Green Gables.

Elizabeth said...

i know exactly how you feel. i really only know laura and michael here and i see them only once a month or so. otherwise, i literally don't see anyone.

it's incredibly sad, but i really don't know what else to do...i just try not to think about it.

anyway, i know how you feel, absolutely.